When I am truly in my eating disorder – anxious, rushed, stressed – I become (or my life becomes) much like the life of a food critic. I no longer go about my day grounded in the present moment. I am not focused on the tasks at hand. My day becomes about food!
A food critic and an anorexic may seem incomparable, but the both must plan their day (to some degree or another) around food: when, what, and where they eat. It becomes strategic, an ordeal even in some cases. It can become stress provoking for both parties – pressure on the anorexic to eat, and pressure on the critic to accurately critique the food.
The other day I started to feel like a food critic; thinking about what I would eat when, and carefully scrutinizing anything that passed my lips. It took me awhile to remember that food will always be around, there will always be a next meal, and that I rather live life for life rather than live life for food. If you’re struggling with an eating disorder, maybe you want to stop living like a food critic, and eat to live rather than live to eat.